2025

We thought the last couple years were big - with buying a new car, learning to program, dealing with Lily's accident, and all the travel - but this year was something else entirely. It began quietly, still centered around Lily and our routines in Düsseldorf. Much like last year, many days started with taking Lily to kindergarten, followed by teaching English, caregiving work, and juggling household responsibilities. But it quickly became clear that this year would be about change — big, structural change.

Early on, we started seriously looking for an apartment to buy. What felt almost impossible at first slowly turned into a chain of unlikely events. We went to see an apartment for sale across the street from ours, fully expecting yet another dead end. Instead, the real estate agent happened to be there and showed us the place on the spot. It was disastrously moldy, but that chance encounter changed everything. She told us about other apartments they don’t list publicly — and that’s how we learned about a ground-floor apartment with a garden just 500 meters away. In Düsseldorf, apartments with gardens are basically mythical creatures. We couldn’t believe it.

The following months were dominated by financing appointments, consultations, rejections, reversals, and stress. Most banks denied us a loan because of my fixed-term residence permit. Another withdrew approval due to supposed flood risk near the Rhine — a clear excuse. Then, finally, Deutsche Bank approved our loan. Just in time, too: interest rates jumped shortly afterward, and we were relieved to have locked in a good one. Around the same time, Indra lost her job — but in a twist of timing, the accounting firm her company worked with immediately offered her a new position starting in October, with more hours and better prospects. It meant I had to reduce my caregiving work to take on more responsibility at home, but it also gave us more stability.

A major milestone followed soon after: I received German citizenship. Beyond the symbolic importance, it turned out to be a key condition for the loan - retroactively, no less. Shortly after, we received the keys to our new apartment.

Renovation season began immediately, and it was intense. The apartment had serious mold issues, ancient windows that weren’t even fixed in place, wallpaper everywhere — including above the shower — and questionable electrical work. The water-heating setup complicated installing a washer-dryer, which was necessary as the new place didn't have a basement hookup, and the company owning other apartments rejected every improvement they legally could. Rolling shutters were also denied — ironically, shortly before we were later broken into. 

As we dug deeper, more surprises surfaced. Floors had to be replaced because of potential asbestos — only to learn later that the floors were fine, but the balcony planters were actually made of asbestos. Those had to be moved and carefully bagged. With help from friends and family, we stripped wallpaper, sanded walls, installed mold-resistant silicate plaster in the bathroom, moved the old kitchen into the basement (flood resistant!) and tackled endless tasks. Friends like Mokhtar quite literally saved us — doing exhausting sanding work we never could have finished alone while caring for Lily and going to work.

There were also unexpected setbacks, like a motorcycle accident where I was blamed despite being hit by an aggressive driver. And when moving day came, we discovered that a piece of furniture that fit perfectly in our old apartment didn’t fit here at all, despite nearly identical layouts. Instead of forcing it, I built a custom unit — a combined desk and wardrobe — turning frustration into something personal and functional.

One project that really highlighted the difference this move made was the garden access. I spent hours driving around Neuss sourcing materials to build proper stairs down into the yard. The apartment had housed a family with two kids for 15 years, yet they never used the yard even though the space inside was far too small for so many people. Even one neighbor admitted they had waited until finally buying before installing stairs. I would’ve done it on day one. Now Lily spends hours outside, and the difference it makes is incredible.

Another major improvement to daily life was Lily getting a new kindergarten spot. Her old kindergarten was chronically understaffed, and the difference with the new one is night and day. It’s a Montessori kindergarten with a beautiful outdoor area, great equipment - a trampoline and even a water bed - and, most importantly, enough staff. Watching Lily thrive there has been one of the year’s greatest joys.

The garden quickly became another central theme. What had once been unused ground became the heart of daily life: lawn mowing, planting trees, building a swing set for Lily, installing a fence, creating stairs down from the balcony, setting up a solar-powered watering system, and filling the yard with fruit trees, berry bushes, vegetables, and gifted plants from neighbors. The kindness of people here still surprises me — one neighbor lent me a wood chipper without hesitation and even showed up with a big plate of barbecue when we first started renovations. I love it here.

Summer brought moments of rest and celebration: camping in Belgium, bike rides, barbecues, our fifth anniversary, weddings, and finally — after weeks without — a fully installed kitchen. Expensive, stressful, but worth it. Of course, I still had to add my own storage system afterward. Using magnets, I turned the normally sealed-off spaces at the ends into hidden compartments the installers weren’t allowed to build.

Autumn slowed things down a bit but stayed full. Trips to the Netherlands and southern Germany, a seminar connected to Lily’s recovery journey, hiking up to Neuschwanstein Castle near Lake Constance, and finishing outdoor projects — including a custom sun sail system built for a fraction of the retail cost.

There were harder moments, too. Frank’s hospital stay was worrying, though thankfully it ended well. Later, Indra lost her wallet, which meant me driving the whole time during a planned six-hour round trip to Bad Wildungen so we could visit Frank in rehab — only for the wallet to be returned by the time we got back. And despite installing a security light, our apartment was broken into while we were out for Thanksgiving dinner. The damage felt invasive, even if only a ring was taken. Still, it could have been worse, and we were grateful for insurance and support. Just before the year ended, the window company managed to replace the broken windows — squeezing ours into the very last shipment of the year.

Looking back, 2025 was demanding, exhausting, and often overwhelming — but also deeply rewarding. We built something lasting this year: a home, a garden, a new rhythm for our family. Lily has more space to grow, Indra has a new professional chapter ahead, and we’ve put down roots in a way that finally feels solid — and brings us closer to achieving everything we’ve ever dreamed of.

Photos

2024

This year the days often started the same way: taking Lily to Kita (kindergarten). While she spent her mornings there, I taught English, worked on a new skill, and Indra got a much-needed break. Unfortunately, Kita closures were frequent, and Lily often couldn’t go due to infections she caught there. 

Lily's recovery journey has continued, though, with physiotherapy helping her strengthen neglected muscles. She hadn’t learned to crawl and was already trying to walk, but one arm had started to atrophy from using the other to scoot around. 

Switching to a specialized burn center also made a huge difference. They offered better fittings for her compression clothing and taught us new techniques for her care. While transferring there during the skin transplant process would have been a nightmare, the difference in expertise is undeniable.

Lily gets regular updates to her compression clothing, valued at over 1,000 euros per outfit. Because of the cost and the strain on our insurance provider, which is burdened by its primarily elderly clientele, authorization delays have meant her outfits almost don't fit anymore by the time we get them. It's a frustrating downside to a healthcare system that otherwise provides so much, like Pflegegeld (care money), a monthly sum we could have applied for from the start—if anyone had told us we were eligible!

Through it all, Lily’s grandpa Frank has been our rock. He makes long trips to watch her, giving us much-needed breaks. On his birthday, he didn’t hesitate to take her back to Bochum for a weekend—a trip he seemed as excited about as she was!

These breaks also gave Indra and me the chance to carve out time for each other. One of the most relaxing days was when Lily was at Kita, and we went to the sauna and had a fantastic lunch at an unexpectedly great restaurant in Edeka. Another favorite was hiking in Grafenberger Wald. We’ve done it before, but it’s probably the best outdoor spot in Düsseldorf, complete with a wild animal park that’s free to visit.

Family time is always special, and we make the most of it. Our Ruhrtop card, a 50-euro discount pass that pays for itself in just a few activities, got us free entry to places like the Dortmunder Zoo.

A week in the Netherlands brought some much-needed rest and fun: swimming, biking, and playing games like Saboteur. We also indulged in a giant fish-and-chips meal at a café, enjoyed time at the park with Lily, and went on bike rides through the peaceful countryside.

Other highlights included a balloon museum trip with Indra’s parents and some friends, and upgrading our car to a Renault Grand Scenic. The hatchback wasn’t cutting it anymore, so we found one for 16k at a dealership—only to discover and purchase the same car for 11k at another dealership the next day. It even had better mileage!

This year brought personal milestones, too. Gardening on our balcony took off, with dwarf tomato plants and raspberries thriving in their small space. Next year, I plan to grow more berries and spread out the strawberry plants.

The big hobby this year, though, was programming—with Indra as my digital artist! After many failed attempts to learn coding, AI tools finally helped me break through. Of course, I still had to solve countless challenges, like figuring out why canvases glitch, learning demanding animation techniques, and setting up in-game stores for real-world currency. Programming health bars and using cameras sometimes took days of trial and error. I also learned the value of backup projects—after one update broke everything, transferring files to a fresh project was my only solution. As for the massive time requirements, I was pleased to learn that my daughter can play on her own!

After finishing my first game, Idle Magic Defense (see my completed apps here) a half a year after starting, I jumped into my second project, Life Abroad. Only a couple months later, I had gained production access for Life Abroad, a much faster process compared to my first game. Later in December, I began work on my new game, Fernweh.

Attending Gamescom in Cologne, the biggest gaming convention in the world, was another major highlight. Networking and promoting my work there left me inspired for what’s next.

There was also plenty of adventure. A bike ride with the Kalaidians gave us a chance to enjoy the outdoors, and a Kräutertour (wild plant tour) with Indra’s parents—despite us battling colds—was a great way to relax with family and learn something new. At the Kölner Zoo, we spent a meaningful day with other parents of severely burned children, sharing experiences while the kids enjoyed the animals.

The year’s end felt extra special, from a Thanksgiving dinner with a couple friends who are getting married, to a meaningful gathering with a student and his son - an opportunity we were glad to have after years of teaching them English.

This year also brought some big moments. Applying for German citizenship felt like an important step in building our future here. And then there was our trip to the USA, a highlight of the year.

We reconnected with family and old friends, paddled to a beaver dam, and even had a wild day of road rage and tubing. My dad stood up to a road-raging lunatic who later called the cops on us, but the matter was resolved before we enjoyed an afternoon on the lake—until the tube ripped during one of my dad’s signature maneuvers!

There were quieter moments, too, like meals at our favorite restaurants and catching up with old friends over hikes. We even managed a few practical stops, like getting Lily’s social security number and clarifying tax details with the IRS—proving that I am me and now live in Germany.

Looking back, it’s been a full year with plenty of family, friendship, and finding joy in the small things. 

2023

This year was no walk in the park. In fact, some parts were outright nightmarish. Our daughter, Lily, had a couple fevers and infections that got pretty dangerous. And she gave us a real scare with an accident that left her lying in the hospital for a whole month - the recovery is ongoing but at least she's healthy! Anyway, you've gotta take the good with the bad. It was also a year full of great experiences. We spent a lot of time with friends and family, got a KiTa (kindergarten) spot for Lily, and went on trips to Norway, Holland and, of course, the USA.

If you're lucky enough to get one, a KiTa spot is supported by the city. To be fair, not every city in Germany offers this support but, considering that people in Switzerland pay thousands a month for basic childcare, the situation here is extremely advantageous regardless of your city. This is one of many things that makes raising a family in Germany so great. Right from the beginning we were also getting regular visits from a Hebamme (midwife), who advised us on pretty much everything that you can imagine, and even a representative from the city came to make sure we had all the information we needed on relevant services. Then, of course, there's the help we've gotten from friends and family. Almost all of Lily's clothing came from friends. And in times when we've needed it, many have also cooked and babysitted for us.

It seems that every year we spend more and more time with friends and family. This year we went to lots of family events, including a big Familientreff (family reunion) near Dortmund. Even some relatives from the US were supposed to be there but, unfortunately, something came up. Maybe we'll see them at the next one in 2025, though. 

During the holidays we spent a lot of time eating cake and Raclette. Thankfully this year Lily didn't have a heart attack when the fireworks started going off and even slept through it. Last year we were with friends and didn't realize how scary it is for babies... it certainly didn't help that someone threw a firework directly at us! Unfortunately, this was not an isolated incident. For the last couple years now, a big problem here has been people throwing fireworks at the emergency services. So, I guess we shouldn't be surprised that they're also targeting babies. Annnd that's why fireworks are slowly being banned here.

We've also been getting a bit closer with our neighbors. A couple of neighbors come over regularly for Spieleabend (game night) after Lily goes to sleep, and with others we've started working together on gardening projects. As they have a yard, and I grow lots of stuff, we've really been able to help each other out. Anything that doesn't fit on my balcony, goes directly into their garden. I then theoretically have access to the harvest. Although, they get a lot less light, so this may not necessarily work out. Still fun, though!

Finally, we still really enjoy travel as well - I even published the first part of my series this year! This time we did have to figure it out with a baby, though. Turns out it's doable! First we had to get her a German and a US passport as she has both nationalities. One is needed in order to enter the US and the other to return to Germany. Crazy, huh?

We cut it pretty close having bought the tickets before even applying for the passports, but it worked out pretty well. In April we flew to the US without too much difficulty. This was largely thanks to the fact that we requested a bassinet in advance - basically a bed on the wall so that you don't have to hold your baby the whole time. At six months, she was already reaching the size limit, though. So, next year we'll probably have to hold her on our laps.

We had a pretty relaxed visit to the US. Lily went swimming for the first time at my mom's, we walked around in the Theler wetlands and paddled around on the lake at my dad's, and visited some friends. 

A couple months later we took another flight - this time to Oslo, Norway! We got a great deal on an AirBnB just out of town (had to book a few months in advance) and used two all-inclusive tickets for public transportation for the week using the "Ruter" app. The first few days were pretty simple - we went for a walk around a nice lake in Sognsvann, had brown-cheese waffles at a flea market, visited the Royal Palace and ate in town using the Toogoodtogo app. This was actually essential as the prices in Norway are several times that of Germany... even a regular hamburger was over 20 bucks! But the app, which we also use quite a bit at home, gets you food from places that would otherwise have to throw it away. Still good, as the name suggests, just too much for them to sell. 

Around halfway through our trip, we visited the Folkemuseum (The Norwegian Museum of Cultural History). This is probably the coolest museum I've ever been to. I mean, I was a bit skeptical at first as it was just basically rooms full of nice wooden chests (a major item in the traditional Norwegian home), but soon we were outside looking at different structures imported from regions all over Norway! Seriously, just look at the pictures (at the end of the post).

After seeing a couple dozen variations over the course of about an hour or so walking around the expansive grounds of the museum, we finally arrived at a "town" with traditional residences and businesses that were presumably also imported from actual sites. And, just like in the previous areas, they also had period-appropriate actors that even sold goods in old-timey shops. A real living museum.

On another day we went to Hovedøya Island where we saw the monastery and went swimming... at the wrong beach. It turned out there was a much more appropriate swimming spot down the way, but then again our spot was more private.

Our last stops during our visit to Oslo were the opera house and Drøbak. As you can see, the Oslo Opera House can be climbed for a really cool view over the bay. It's also just around the corner from the port where the boats for island hopping dock, so it was a good add-on. 

Drøbak, on the other hand, is a day trip in itself. The bus also leaves from the port area but takes about an hour each way. Drøbak is a cool little town with a nice spot for jumping into the Fjord and a beautiful coastal walk. 

The last couple weeks of September, we took our final trip of the year to Holland. Indra's parents found a nice family resort in a town called America. There we rode bikes to Venray and other local towns, used our private infrared sauna, and played around in the little water park they had there in the resort. All in all, a really great way to spend time with family!

ALL PHOTOS

2022

2022 was another big year for our family. I finished my nursing apprenticeship and started working as a home care nurse, we moved into our new apartment and, most notably, our daughter was born. We also managed a trip up to England and a family holiday on the German countryside.

The new job and apartment pretty much happend at exactly the same time - the start of April. Before it had even sunk in that my last year of toil was finally over, we found ourselves in the middle of a move. That's just the way it goes.

The new apartment is really nice, though. I've always wanted a place to do some gardening, so the balcony is awesome. We've also got a beautiful park right out the door. The most important improvement, though, is the increased space. We have a room for our bikes, a room for washing and another for drying, a much bigger cellar and, of course, a kid's room.

Lily Ruth Clark was born on the 17th of October, 2022. It didn't go as smoothly as we would have liked, but mother and child came out healthy. Lily had gotten her cord wrapped around her neck a couple times and a C-section became necessary. It was a bit dramatic after that but, upon seeing my newborn daughter for the first time, all doubts were replaced with what I can only describe as a surreal sense of wonderful purpose. I had become the father of a perfect little miracle.

I really couldn't be happier with my family here in Germany. I love that Lily is going to get to grow up going on family trips with us to places like Meschede where we went this year. This last May we stayed at a campground on a lake called Hennesee from where we rode the Sauerland Nordstreife and stopped at Möhnesee for cake at an old thatched-roof inn called Torhaus. We also hiked K1 in Willingen and rode the Sommerrodelbahn (a toboggan ride).

We also get together regularly for family breakfasts and visits to art exhibits, museums and little countryside towns like Conenburg. And then there's our friends. We meet for BBQs and dinners, and go to events like Japan Tag (Japan Day), church conferences (this year for Pentacost in Frankfurt), and Kräuter sammeln (collecting herbs with my tutor from my apprenticeship who also happens to be a sort of herbologist/guide); we got a Stadtführung (city tour) from our friend Irina in Cologne and again the same in England from our friend Steve who we also visited shortly last year.

England is always a good destination. Under normal circumstances, getting there's not only cheap but easy. This year was a bit tough, though, as we were traveling during the summer holidays which, in Europe, can be a bit tricky! Having decided to use the amazing, yet limited, 9-euro ticket on offer at the time, we had our work cut out for us right from the beginning. With the 9-euro ticket, which allowed unlimited travel on local public transport, we were able to go all the way to Cologne on the cheap. Only problem being that local transport doesn't go directly to Cologne. We arrived only an hour before our flight to find that the line for security was two hours long! The flight was boarding on schedule and, as if still being in the line for security wasn't bad enough, they closed the security gates due to limited security staff. Not only that, but the airports were flooded with three times the expected foot traffic! Nevertheless, we waited on pins and needles until they opened the gates again and started allowing people through. Amazingly, the flight had waited on us and even continued to wait for a further 11 passengers. 

By the time we arrived in Gatwick, it was quite late. We had planned on that, though. We had even planned on the lack of public transport due to strikes. What we hadn't planned on was that even the Ubers were on strike! Thankfully we had booked somewhat within walking distance of our hotel. It was no picnic, Indra being pregnant and all, but we managed to hike the four or so kilometers without any trouble.

The next day we had lunch in Horley near Gatwick, which was surprisingly nice little town, and took the train to Brighton. We then hired a couple hourly bikes and rode to Rottingdean and back along the white cliffs. Then, after dropping our stuff off at our beachfront Airbnb in Lancing (best deal ever!), we had Indian for dinner at one of the many restaurants lining the main street there. The next day Steve picked us up and we went to do some archery.

We then had lunch at Beachy Head followed by clotted cream scones with jam and cream tea at Birling Gap. After a walk along the beach we drove to a cool little town called Alfriston, had drinks at old English pub and finished with a burger back in Lancing. Finally, on our last day, we had an English breakfast fry up at Perch on Lancing beach and then spent the rest of the day making our way back home.

ALL PHOTOS

2021

2021 was an intense year full of stressful, exciting, and sad experiences. I started a German Ausbildung (apprenticeship), we a had a death in the family, Indra also found more work teaching German and doing painting workshops, we tried to buy a house at an auction but ended up getting a new apartment instead, we went on several family trips, and we made new friends.

The Ausbildung was indeed stressful... working, studying, and teaching all at the same time. Just studying in German is a challenge, but this was a nursing program - lots of medical language. I had many things to adjust to: up at 430am (sometimes after working till 9pm the night before), bad smells, washing and generally dealing with strange patients, and things like skin problems from sweating in gloves - didn't think I would make it to the end just because of that alone. And then there's the tests, regulations and Bürokratie, visa problems and Anerkennung (recognition of educational background). Thankfully, I didn't even need to get my degree recognized, just my high school transcripts... but even this was unbelievably overcomplicated. It should have taken just two months in Düsseldorf, but after six months they rejected my application due to a lack of English language courses. Yes, you read that right - they require that a native speaker take classes to learn their own language. So, I then had to reapply in another city for recognition based on lesser criteria (Germany has three high school systems based on academic ability) in order to get proof that I graduated from high school. Oh, and the fact that I graduated from college doesn't help because, even though it normally would, they require that the transcripts say that I attended one school for four years. I transferred credits from one college to another, so my transcripts only show three years at the school named on my degree.

And my visa? Well, I'm married to a German, so that would have been rather simple had they not constantly changed their minds about the requirements. My first visa interview was nice and early, but the representative decided that technically my wife should be present. I was then given a new appointment for eight months later - several months after the prospective begin of my Ausbildung. Over the next couple months, I managed to get the appointment moved up... at which point they decided that, because of COVID restrictions (now over a year since it started), my wife shouldn't come. And that was just the beginning. A year later I would have to renew this very same visa with even more absurd requirements, such as the completion of an integration course (I'm married to a German, speak fluent German and work in a profession that is essential to the future of German society...) and a language certificate proving that I can speak basic German. That such things, and the associated costs, are at this point completely unnecessary can be underlined further by the fact that, at my following visa appointment, they didn't even want to see these things!

Oh well, a couple months later I was finally in my nursing program taking vitals, measuring urine and washing, feeding and repositioning my patients for minimum wages. Although, on this point I'm actually not complaining - in America we would have to pay for the privilege of learning such things. But, then again, I don't know if the pressure would be quite the same. Here you have to get through the year (CNA) or, three years (RN), without interruption... or start over. One colleague of mine was actually almost finished with her third year when she got pregnant and had to leave with nothing. This is naturally the reason why she then found herself in my program years later as she realized that anything can happen with the result of three years of hard work being completely flushed down the drain!

On the upside, a German Ausbildung is classified as a normal job. This means that by German law we are entitled to 5-6 weeks of holiday per year. That's a lot of family trips! In February we rode around Unterbacher See ("lake" in English). In March we visited friends in Bielefeld where we were just a short walk from a really cool castle. In April we rode bikes to Zons - a beautiful Dorf or "village" that I'd been meaning to visit for years. In May we hiked part of the Neandertal for the second time. In July we did a big bike trip along the Sauerland Radring and got interviewed by a team of German youtubers excited to meet an American on their "international" bicycle route. 

In September we to the Heideblüte or "moor flowers" for a walk on our way to Dülmen in Münsterland. There we spent a whole week riding bikes, sitting in the sauna, and eating cake at cafes and restaurants. We even made a new friend, Rohrbert (a play on words combining the German word "Rohr", which means pipe, with the name "Robert"). He's the mascot of the waterworks. 

But, as I mentioned, 2021 was a stressful year and a sad one as well. On June 23, my stepmother, Judy, passed away. We were able to book a trip to the US a couple months later to go comfort my dad and attend the funeral. While the experience was difficult, it was nice to see family and friends. 

We spent the first week with dad and traveled down to Oregon for the funeral. We then went to see my brother's new place in Yakima before heading to Puyallup to visit mom. After a few days of painting and visiting with old friends, we caught a plane to London. There we met up with my friend Steve for lunch in Chinatown and then flew back to Düsseldorf.

2021 was also a year of house hunting. Competition has gotten so fierce, though. We even tried handing out fliers to see if we might be able to get someone to make a deal with us. Our original target was Bad Wildungen, a "Kurort" or basically a town known as a healthy getaway. Even the auctions or "Zwangsversteigerungen" here were way out of our price range. So, we continued looking further out until, a few months later, we found something affordable. 

We drove out to a countryside courthouse and were the only ones there... at first. Then some random people showed up and started a bidding war with us. We gave up pretty quick as the house was actually not worth much and the other people had no idea because they hadn't gone to see it or even had a proper read through the item description! After that experience, we kind of gave up and, instead, started looking at new apartments. 

Only a couple months later, after a few "Besichtigungen" (apartment showings), we found our dream apartment.

ALL PHOTOS