2025

We thought the last couple years were big - with buying a new car, learning to program, dealing with Lily's accident, and all the travel - but this year was something else entirely. It began quietly, still centered around Lily and our routines in Düsseldorf. Much like last year, many days started with taking Lily to kindergarten, followed by teaching English, caregiving work, and juggling household responsibilities. But it quickly became clear that this year would be about change — big, structural change.

Early on, we started seriously looking for an apartment to buy. What felt almost impossible at first slowly turned into a chain of unlikely events. We went to see an apartment for sale across the street from ours, fully expecting yet another dead end. Instead, the real estate agent happened to be there and showed us the place on the spot. It was disastrously moldy, but that chance encounter changed everything. She told us about other apartments they don’t list publicly — and that’s how we learned about a ground-floor apartment with a garden just 500 meters away. In Düsseldorf, apartments with gardens are basically mythical creatures. We couldn’t believe it.

The following months were dominated by financing appointments, consultations, rejections, reversals, and stress. Most banks denied us a loan because of my fixed-term residence permit. Another withdrew approval due to supposed flood risk near the Rhine — a clear excuse. Then, finally, Deutsche Bank approved our loan. Just in time, too: interest rates jumped shortly afterward, and we were relieved to have locked in a good one. Around the same time, Indra lost her job — but in a twist of timing, the accounting firm her company worked with immediately offered her a new position starting in October, with more hours and better prospects. It meant I had to reduce my caregiving work to take on more responsibility at home, but it also gave us more stability.

A major milestone followed soon after: I received German citizenship. Beyond the symbolic importance, it turned out to be a key condition for the loan - retrospectively, no less. Shortly after, we received the keys to our new apartment.

Renovation season began immediately, and it was intense. The apartment had serious mold issues, ancient windows that weren’t even fixed in place, wallpaper everywhere — including above the shower — and questionable electrical work. The water-heating setup complicated installing a washer-dryer, which was necessary as the new place didn't have a basement hookup, and the company owning other apartments rejected every improvement they legally could. Rolling shutters were also denied — ironically, shortly before we were later broken into. 

As we dug deeper, more surprises surfaced. Floors had to be replaced because of potential asbestos — only to learn later that the floors were fine, but the balcony planters were actually made of asbestos. Those had to be moved and carefully bagged. With help from friends and family, we stripped wallpaper, sanded walls, installed mold-resistant silicate plaster in the bathroom, moved the old kitchen into the basement (flood resistant!) and tackled endless tasks. Friends like Mokhtar quite literally saved us — doing exhausting sanding work we never could have finished alone while caring for Lily and going to work.

There were also unexpected setbacks, like a motorcycle accident where I was blamed despite being hit by an aggressive driver. And when moving day came, we discovered that a piece of furniture that fit perfectly in our old apartment didn’t fit here at all, despite nearly identical layouts. Instead of forcing it, I built a custom unit — a combined desk and wardrobe — turning frustration into something personal and functional.

One project that really highlighted the difference this move made was the garden access. I spent hours driving around Neuss sourcing materials to build proper stairs down into the yard. The apartment had housed a family with two kids for 15 years, yet they never used the yard even though the space inside was far too small for so many people. Even one neighbor admitted they had waited until finally buying before installing stairs. I would’ve done it on day one. Now Lily spends hours outside, and the difference it makes is incredible.

Another major improvement to daily life was Lily getting a new kindergarten spot. Her old kindergarten was chronically understaffed, and the difference with the new one is night and day. It’s a Montessori kindergarten with a beautiful outdoor area, great equipment - a trampoline and even a water bed - and, most importantly, enough staff. Watching Lily thrive there has been one of the year’s greatest joys.

The garden quickly became another central theme. What had once been unused ground became the heart of daily life: lawn mowing, planting trees, building a swing set for Lily, installing a fence, creating stairs down from the balcony, setting up a solar-powered watering system, and filling the yard with fruit trees, berry bushes, vegetables, and gifted plants from neighbors. The kindness of people here still surprises me — one neighbor lent me a wood chipper without hesitation and even showed up with a big plate of barbecue when we first started renovations. I love it here.

Summer brought moments of rest and celebration: camping in Belgium, bike rides, barbecues, our fifth anniversary, weddings, and finally — after weeks without — a fully installed kitchen. Expensive, stressful, but worth it. Of course, I still had to add my own storage system afterward. Using magnets, I turned the normally sealed-off spaces at the ends into hidden compartments the installers weren’t allowed to build.

Autumn slowed things down a bit but stayed full. Trips to the Netherlands and southern Germany, a seminar connected to Lily’s recovery journey, hiking up to Neuschwanstein Castle near Lake Constance, and finishing outdoor projects — including a custom sun sail system built for a fraction of the retail cost.

There were harder moments, too. Frank’s hospital stay was worrying, though thankfully it ended well. Later, Indra lost her wallet, which meant me driving the whole time during a planned six-hour round trip to Bad Wildungen so we could visit Frank in rehab — only for the wallet to be returned by the time we got back. And despite installing a security light, our apartment was broken into while we were out for Thanksgiving dinner. The damage felt invasive, even if only a ring was taken. Still, it could have been worse, and we were grateful for insurance and support. Just before the year ended, the window company managed to replace the broken windows — squeezing ours into the very last shipment of the year.

Looking back, 2025 was demanding, exhausting, and often overwhelming — but also deeply rewarding. We built something lasting this year: a home, a garden, a new rhythm for our family. Lily has more space to grow, Indra has a new professional chapter ahead, and we’ve put down roots in a way that finally feels solid — and brings us closer to achieving everything we’ve ever dreamed of.

Photos